How to Deal With Difficult In-Laws?

deal with difficult in-laws

When you are married, you are becoming part of another family also. Hence, you will be in a situation to handle, understand, adjust, and life with new people other than your spouse when you get married.

Here are some tips for dealing with difficult in-laws.

Work with your spouse:

Remember, you and your spouse are together in this. Do support each other. Don’t pull your spouse in the situation where he or she has to choose between you and a relative. Instead, try to understand the bond your spouse has with his/her family while dealing with in-laws.

Communicate Directly:

Avoid third party communication with your in-laws. Go directly and talk to your in-laws if you have any issues with them, instead of asking your spouse to speak for with them for you.

Know Yourself:

Don’t change yourself or your identity for others, even if it is your in-laws. Shakespeare said it long ago, “Don’t try to remake yourself into the person your in-laws want”. This will make you happy and relaxed. Only when you feel happy, you can seek out the problems that surround you.

Do Not Expect:

Not every mother-in-law will torture, not every father-in-law will question you about your actions. Do not believe in the old stereotypes, try to accept the reality and adjust according to it.

Be Mature:

There is no need for your in-laws to “love you” like your parents are doing. Try to think differently and accept the fact that it is their wish to love you or not. Try to understand that everyone has a point of view.

Keep Your Sense of Humor:

Try to be humorous in certain situations. This may help you to escape from some serious issues. Remember, not every matter should be treated seriously.

Set Boundaries and Limits:

When you are living with your in-laws, sets your family values, then talk to them directly about your values. Don’t make promises that you cannot keep. Do what you can do.

Enforce the Boundaries and Limits:

Keep the promises what you do and stick your boundaries and limits.

Dos and Don’ts to deal with Horrible In-Laws:


  • Do understand the relationship between your spouse and your in-laws.
  • Do talk with your in-laws and take time to know about them.
  • Do check with your partner about family customs and likes, dislikes and habits of your in-laws.


  • Don’t expect that family relationship will resemble the one in your family.
  • Don’t get offended easily.
  • Don’t believe everyone will understand you.